Pink Prozac - a luscious cocktail

Pink Ribbon Tour

The Pink Ribbon Tour was started by a guy with a big heart who drives around across America stopping in cities along the way to promote breast cancer awareness.

Here are some pictures from when the pink firetruck went to Reading, PA. Earle's cousins were there, put my name on the truck and sent me some pictures!

 

 

 

Stefanie LaRue Advocacy Coalition

Stefanie was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer at the age of 30. Both of us were told we were too young to have breast cancer and like myself, her lump was found by her boyfriend.

From her website:

The Stefanie LaRue Advocacy Movement boldly educates young women in their teens, twenties and thirties that they too can get breast cancer even with no family history. Younger women are often misdiagnosed because they are told they are "too young and don't fit the profile". A delay in correctly diagnosing the cancer often allows the disease to progress to a later, more critical stage. Since the type of breast cancer that typically occurs in younger women is particularly aggressive, treatment can be more severe and less effective. Many times the prognosis is terminal. Young women are dying needlessly who might otherwise have survived, given early detection and proper diagnoses.

You can also read more about her story here.

Stefanie LaRue Video

While the cats away...

Earle is in North Carolina on a seminar. I have spent the week alone here and of course I miss him and at times bored being by myself. I wanted to take this opportunity and just do whatever I felt like doing. Most of the week consisted of horror movies, reading, reality tv, & some nice red wine. (um, yeah and doing a minimal amount of accounting work that I needed to do).

I spent the first night Earle was away with his aunt Rosa. She is a big scary movie buff like myself so we had a fun time doing a horror movie night. Wednesday night I spent at my mom's and we had a great girl  night watching the Sex and the City flick.

Tonight there was some wine and a horror flick. I also started reading a book I read years ago called "The Doors of Perception" by Alex Huxley. I actually ordered a book case and put it together myself. I was going to wait for Earle to return to help me out but I am really bad at waiting when it comes to any new things I order. I am the type of person that wants to know where its going to go and how its going to look. I like to change a room around. I put the bookcase together myself (wasn't hard) and went down to the basement and collected some of my favorite books to fill up the new bookshelf. Its kind of like a drug. (me getting a thrill out of rearranging a room). Which brings me to the book..

The Doors of Perception is the reason why The Doors named their band what they did. As I started reading it again I came across a sentence that I really think is true. Before I go into that though, the book is basically an experiment with acid. Alex takes mescalin to see what happens. If you never have done acid and want to know what it might feel like, then read this book. I plead the fifth on that subject.

The sentence goes like this..

"We live together, we act on, and react to, one another; but always and in all circumstances we are by ourselves". Alex Huxley (The Doors of Perception).

That sentence hit me. I stopped and read it over more than a few times. Not to bring up, all the time..oh, i had cancer, I SO see things differently now. But this sentence is so true. The reason why is because he "gets it". I mean that by saying if you read something, anything that you can identify with when you read it can stop you in your tracks. You say to yourself, 'yeah, this person is on the same page.' They understand and get what I am feeling.

I think, its one the reasons  why readers like to read.

The sentence is true to me because that is how I felt after my diagnosis with breast cancer. I think (maybe)  many of my 'sisters' (girls also dx with bc) might feel the same way. Even though we might have loving families, great doctors and amazing people around us, at the end of the day we are alone. We are alone with our own thoughts and our own fears, which can be really debilitating.

My point here, I guess, is that sentence that I read and how it made me feel. We are 'by ourselves'. And that is not being said in a way that is negative.

Its just SO true. Weird, fucked up, but true.

Army of Women: Going Beyond A Cure

  Dr. Susan Love's 'Breast Book' was a lifesaver for me after being diagnosed. I carried that book around to every doctors appointment!

Dr. Susan Love just launched . Below is from the website.

The Dr. Susan Love Research Foundation and the Avon Foundation, a global leader in breast cancer research, joined forces to launch the Love/Avon Army of Women.

Our revolutionary initiative has two key goals:

• To recruit one million healthy women of every age and ethnicity, including breast cancer survivors and women at high-risk for the disease, to partner with breast cancer researchers and directly participate in the research that will eradicate breast cancer once and for all.
• To challenge the scientific community to expand its current focus to include breast cancer prevention research conducted on healthy women.

Join us in this movement that will take us beyond a cure by creating new opportunities to study what causes breast cancer—and how to prevent it.

You can sign up HERE

Faced my mortality, Still an Atheist

Being diagnosed with cancer at thirty-one years old was a crazy experience. I call it crazy because so many things happen to you. Along with the physical: surgery, chemo, radiation, hairloss. There are so many mental challenges to overcome. In my case, I handled the physical much better than the mental.

I understand the five stages of grief now. (denial, anger, bargaining, depression,& acceptance). I guess I just thought this was something written in a book that really didn't apply to real life. How can everyone go through the same stages? Everyone is different right?

Also, no one died for me to be grieving so why would those steps apply to me? But someone did die the day I was told I had cancer. That person was the 'old me'. I am now a 'new or different me'.

I was grieving. I just didn't know it at the time.

Denial: I think this stage didn't last very long. I was only in a bit of denial the night before I got the news. This can't be happening. nah. I'm only 31! But I am a realistic person so I had a hard time denying with the evidence, even though no actual proof was given to me yet.

Anger: Anger too was there but not so strong that I was asking Why Me? I know that cancer can happen to anyone at any age. I was more like "I just want to be a normal girl"!! This fucking sucks balls!!

Bargaining: There was not much bargaining, so I guess I can say I almost skipped this step. I felt completely alone. Who was I to bargain with? I didn't all of a sudden start to pray and believe in a higher power. I might have said to myself. Ok, self, if you get through this you will stop smoking, drinking and treat your body better. So, maybe I did bargain with myself a bit.

Depression: Well, I didn't have a problem with this stage. It lasted a long time. I was 'crawl up in the bed and lay in a fetal position' depressed for a good while. I woke up every morning with a pit in my stomach and I really did wonder If I would ever be happy again. The fear of recurrence of the cancer had such a hold on me.

Acceptance: This is a nice place to be. I finally got there, never knowing I could or would. I have accepted the fact that the cancer can return but I don't wake up with a pit in my stomach anymore. I know that I will die someday, maybe sooner than later. I will enjoy my life and not spend it worrying. I don't know how I got to this place in my mind. Its wonderful.

Everyone has heard the saying "There are no atheists in foxholes".

yes, indeed there are.

Today!!!

is my birthday and also six years since I was diagnosed with breast cancer. That day six years ago was also a Tuesday.

This Friday I'll be at my yearly oncology visit. I am going to get tumor markers done this time.

After six years I still don't feel safe from a recurrence happening but I definitely deal with the fear much better. I just finished my five years on tamoxifen. A drug that can help prevent a recurrence, SO without that drug will I still be NED? (no evidence of disease). Hopefully..they say that even after five years on tamoxifen it continues to benefit.

On a lighter note, my husband, meaning well of course gave me this for one of my presents for my birthday. Not something you expect to get at the age of 37 but he knows I do suffer from night sweats so he is trying to help me out...

however..how depressing is opening this...lol ..in the upper right hand corner ..FOR MENOPAUSE.. Apparently he is also unaware of the breast cancer/soy controversy. Thanks anyway babe!

Beyond Breast Cancer Magazine

Finally..so excited..The grocery store had on the shelves the latest Beyond that came out on September 19th. My article is on page 85!

Art for Cure: Believing in the celebration of life and survivorship

Two of my friends, Jen and Jen are also young breast cancer survivors. They started a non-profit organization called Art for Cure.

Their Mission Statement:

Believing in the celebration of life and survivorship, Art for Cure encourages survivors of chronic and/or life-threatening disease to tell their stories through art. Art for Cure supports cure-based and other organizations dedicated to survivorship issues through the promotion and sales of artwork.

I was contacted by my friends to be in their calendar called Life Blooms Desk Calendar. How exciting!!

I did a cancer blog post today on the subject! Check it out and buy a calendar..I am in it after all!! lol

To read more about Jen and Jen and their organization click here.

Below

I found this to be a bit racey for the cancer blog. but i thought it was so funny

A breast exam rap song? its catchy