and the comments they had wished they said.
I belong to the Young Survival Coalition. We have a message board on line that we use to discuss treatment, get understanding, talk about all the challenges we face, vent, and also laugh and make new friends. One of the girls started a discussion about stupid comments. What they had to say in return is even more funny. (or what they thought in their heads for the most part)
so, this is for someone that might get these comments thrown at them when going through cancer treatment. don't we always seem to think of stuff to say after the fact. right? so now you'll be prepared. (well, that is if you can remember the comeback with chemo brain and all)..
and its also to help others so they don't stick their foot in their mouths when talking to someone who has cancer. we know you don't know what to say...its all in good fun.
"the past is in the past and the future is unknown. you can only live in the present and that's why its a gift"
"you could step off the curb tomorrow and get hit by a bus" (not a good analogy, its like i'm standing blindfolded in the middle of the fucking freeway with 100 of them coming at me) or (its like i already got hit by the bus and now its backing up over me)
"you gotta think positively" (ok, i'm positive i had cancer, and i'm positive that it wasn't fun)
"my (fill in blank here) had (fill in type here) cancer and that was (fill in number) years ago. you'll be fine"
"your lucky you didn't lose weight on chemo. (fuck you!)
"so, your fine now right?"
"don't worry"
"so things are back to normal now right?"
"my grandmom died of that" (oh really, well fuck you!) or (gee, is it hereditary?)
"they burned my so and so's heart and lungs when he had radiation"
"nice fro"
"God gives you what you can handle"
"what's your prognosis?"
"can i see what's going on under that hat"
"if anyone can beat it, its you" (no shit!)
"at least you got a good kind of cancer"
"if its not your time, its not your time" (then why bother with surgery and treatment? duh!)
"life is not fair" (thanks for the heads up, asshole)
"every cloud has a silver lining"
"its just a bump in the road" (living with a cancer diagnoses, losing your hair, getting poison injected in your veins, having breast surgery, getting radiation, having old lady bones, being cautious for lymphodema, gaining weight, not sleeping well, having hot flashes, being depressed and anxious..is not just a bump - its a major fucking mountain)
"remember lance"
"you gotta be like lance"
"lance beat cancer"
"just look at lance"
"wow, that went by fast, didn't it"? (um, yeah, two surgeries, chemo, radiation; 6 months have never flown by sooo quickly for me)
"i had a friend with cancer but i think her chemo was more intense than yours" (maybe i just didn't whine as much)
"just think, your done"! (done? I'm done?..i guess i'm done with cancer everyone. nothing left to do. How about hormonal therapy, all the side effects, more boob surgery and worrying for the rest of my life about recurrence..fucking done my ass!)
"you look good bald" (WTF?)
"so was it (the cancer) bad?" (oh no, i had the good kind)
"did they catch it early?"
"wow, your head is really big"
"well, is it working"..(how am i supposed to know, its going to be a fucking wait and see for the rest of my life, thank you very much)
"this is a treatable disease"
"you will be able to recover from this"
"you have a nice shaped head" (thanks)
"how do you know if its working" ( i die, if it didn't work)
"you know you can eat more curry, its supposed to kill cancer cells" (great tip)
"you'll be fine, you have a great attitude" (if attitude really matters then why did i get cancer in the first place? or does attitude only matter after you get cancer? right now my attitude about cancer is lousy. what does that mean?)
"if you really want to live, you will. just never give up. when people give up, they die" (if i were hit and killed by that bus would they think i died because i gave up?)
"i'll be thinking about you getting chemo while i'm laying on the beach", "have fun while i'm gone" ( i don't know what she was smoking, but i want some of that)
"well, just remember, its only temporary" or "don't worry, it will grow back" (doesn't help asshole)
My boyfriend (from Holland via text) has come out with some corkers and cannot understand why Im not talking to him?!;
"okay babe hope the hospitals not too horrible..have a goodun"...have a goodun!!!!
"Good luck with the chemo, its raining here and got soaked so had a crappy day myself"
"I know your angry but remember this is hard for both of us, Im having trouble sleeping"...aw widdums
"Boiling hot and sunny here, going down to river for a bbq. Hope the op went well, have a goodun"
"Oh babe its been a hard hard year for us both. You have cancer and Im not where I want to be career wise"
THE LIST JUST GOES ON...
Posted by: Ana | Saturday, August 14, 2010 at 07:28 PM
My sister and I got into a huge fight because she thinks that I need to just get over it. I finished treatment almost two years ago and it is just dragging me down thinking about cancer all the time. She will never understand.... as a triple negative breast cancer survivor maybe after I hit that magic 5 year mark I will but it is still on my mind every moment of every day.
Posted by: Barb (BBB) | Monday, June 13, 2011 at 06:53 PM
I can't believe how many of these stupid comments I heard during both bouts of breast cancer. The comebacks were my favorite! LOL FUNNY!
Posted by: CAD | Tuesday, August 09, 2011 at 08:58 PM